Don’t Touch That Phone! Important Rules of Cell Phone Etiquette
June 18, 2012
Somewhere in history, a proper gentleman or gentlewoman is speaking on the telephone for the first time in their life and is appalled. What, no eye contact? How can you carry on a true conversation without the benefit of body language? How do we expect our tone of voice to carry through these tinny contraptions and be accurately understood when they arrive at the other end? Those complaints are most certainly outdated and old fashioned, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still some lingering, post-1800s complications associated with our preferred method of long distance conversation, the phone. And to make matters more interesting, now many of us text just as much as we actually speak out loud, on the phone. To keep your own lines of communication clear, I’ve compiled some helpful tips for cell phone etiquette, from when to speak to what to say.
Know Your Audience – Phones have become extremely versatile tools, which means everyone uses them slightly differently. Study after study show that teens prefer texting to calling on a cell phone, whereas your grandmother might have gotten an iPhone, but needs a special pair of glasses to read the text on its display. Rules tend to linger longer than technology, and keeping who is at the other end of the phone in mind is the best way to ensure the right behavior.
Know Your Surroundings – We know that movie theatres are obvious places to keep your cell phone put away (yes, even during trailers), as is any kind of performance that takes place in low lighting. But we all like souvenirs, and we want to take advantage of our phones’ great features. If you must snap photos or video at a concert or show, keep it sparse; nobody behind you wants to watch an entire concert through your iPhone, and having unlimited film doesn’t make all your shots great. Regarding restaurants, there is certainly a new dynamic evolving when we’re out to eat, but it should be guided by the setting. Ask yourself, “Would the owner of the restaurant want me to be on my phone right now?” Tapping away on your cell phone at a hip lounge that gives you a free drink for checking in on Foursquare is not just acceptable, it’s encouraged, but banging out a text at a candlelit dinner is still definitely tacky.
Prioritize People – When you’re with company who care about your attention, give it to them. Just because you can take your favorite news aggregator/sports ticker/gossip blog with you when you’re out on the town doesn’t mean you’re obligated to look at it every second. Unless the person you’re with shares the same phone-friendly values that you do (in which case you’re both staring at your phones all the time when you’re together), they find it insulting that you put a piece of plastic before them.
Set Proper Alerts – If you’re confident that something on your cell phone is so important it needs checking while you’re in a social setting, set a decent alert for it- and consider keeping it to a vibration when possible. Decide what alerts are must-have (such as a business e-mail account or loved one calling) and set up a custom vibration pattern for them, if need be. (iPhone users see how to do this here, Android users check out this app.)
Be Your (Right) Self – Much like you need to consider who you are calling or texting, you need to consider what they know about you. If you’re conducting professional business, stick to the same professional tone that coworkers and associates would expect you to use in meetings or workplace phonecalls. If you’re talking to somebody who knows you and your typical tone and sense of humor well, you can get away with more sarcasm or double entendre than when you’re talking with a new acquaintance. Emoticons have a use, but even they can be misinterpreted.
When in doubt, be as literal as possible, and resist the urge to read too deeply into other people’s texts or e-mail to you.
And finally, something to always keep in mind:
Nothing is Private- While your cell phone feels like a very personal extension of yourself, it is not attached. Phones get lost, stolen, and looked over shoulders at every day. Don’t say anything on your phone that you wouldn’t want the whole world to potentially hear about.
Alexei Bochenek is a lifelong tech nerd & film buff based in Los Angeles. When he’s not playing with his phone, it’s because the movie has started. Shhhhh!
